It amazes me what I can do by smiling. I can fool numerous people into thinking that I'm perfectly happy, incuding the people that 'know me best'. Sometimes, I fool myself. That's acting for you. No producers, no scripts, just reality. I don't know who directs this movie, but I want them fired..
The doctors tha are supposed to notice abnormal behaviors even fall for my mad acting skills. "What's with the wristband and sock tied around your leg?" "Oh, I just want to look cool." (While smiling) I can fool the teachers, too. "Why didn't you finish your assignment, Brenda?" "I'm sorry, I was so busy last night with all my Language Compacting and lessons and family bonding that I was so exhausted that I did terrible. Can I redo it?" "Sure, Brenda. No problem :)" In reality, I was 'busy' staring at the wall and wishing I could have a cigarette. A drink. Crank. Anything. Just something that will numb the pain. I spent the better portion of my night keeping my hands from rummaging through my drawers and finding my blade. I spent the other portion eading through Jim's first letter to the court requesting my immediate removal. I reviewed every accusation-from threatening to kill my parents to causing Hayley's stomach ulcer. I cried until two. That's a very calm night.
Woke up today, put on my award-winning smile, and went through the day without a breakdown. That deserves some kind of national recognition..
