A Letter to My Anorexia

When I look in the mirror, I see a kind of fire igniting. Slowly, but steadily reaching the point of burning. And I realized that I'm not the girl I thought I am. I'm beautiful; if not physically, then internally. If I can't accept my body, who will? 

Laying on my bed staring at the wall

Hearing my name, but resisting the call

I'm sick of being used, I'm done being your little doll

Right here and now, I'm ending this brawl

I'm not going to be lulled by your promises yet unkept

Or let myself be fooled by the tears you have wept

Threatening me, saying I'm not bone-thin yet

But I'm happy with myself now, and I owe you no debt

See, since that fateful day that's ruined my life

I've suffered more than my addiction to the knife

You've caused me almost unbearable strife

And the trouble you've caused is much too rife

Do you understand how your words made me die?

Every time I saw myself, I wanted to cry

Looking at my body and seeing the lie

That I'm ugly, fat, and not worthy of a guy

I'm worth more than you can even believe

And I can do more than I once thought I could achieve

While you're still relying on the self-doubt you need

I'm going to be making myself happy, and clean

I'm done with the drugs, the starvation, the abuse

I'm sick of telling myself it's okay to be used

I'm not anyone's call girl, I'm not going to be misused

And I don't care what you say, don't care if you're amused

I'm putting out my cigarettes, throwing out my blade

Drowning the pills on which my life was made

I'm going into the sunlight, coming out of the shade

Destroying the basis on which my self-hatred laid

No more weighing myself for perfection

Now I'm going through the resurrection
Bringing Brenna back through the mask of exceptions

And being honest with us both, finalizing the redemption