Live In the Moment

So I was listening to some country song in gym class (when I was supposed to be participating in ultimate frisby), and it sparked a lyric in me: Live in the moment. So I wrote about it. Hopefully I'll actually live by my own words!

Sometimes I wake up and wanna lay back down

Sometimes I feel my world turn upside down, and I

Can’t tell my future from my thoughts from the past

And I just want to fall to the ground and lie there for as long as Heaven lasts

So I come to this place, where I feel safe, and I can dream

And I see that everything is exactly what I want it to be

So live in the moment and love who you are

You will never be in this place again, and you’ve come so far

You’ll never be more beautiful than you are now,

You’re so broken, but you’re perfect, so live in the moment

You go through the day, don’t need a brain to paste a smile

Don’t think twice, it’s your life, don’t need them for a while, and you

See that this ignorance makes you feel dead inside

But can’t you feel this burning, it’s burning you alive

So she goes home and lies there in the grass

And she thinks about the scars and everything in her past

She closed her eyes and pictured life as many times as

She could feel the fire, sick of the lies, so she sits there, she finds she has to

Live in the moment and love who you are

You’ll never be in this place again, and you’ve come so far

You’ll never be more beautiful than you are now

You’re so broken, but you’re perfect, so live in the moment

Just pause the clock, make it stop, just take some time to brush it off

Beauty is as beauty does and you are everything you’ll want,

Stepping stones on broken homes, shards of glass are bleeding me

Dry, so try to figure out the lies and find the truth to set me free

So live in the moment and love who you are

You’ll never be in the place again, and you’ve come so far

You’ll never be more beautiful than you are now

You’re so broken, but you’re perfect, so live in the moment.

The Invisibility Effect: Self-Harm

My thoughts on self-harm, disagree or agree. Don't care which. You also get a grand tour of my walls!
Comment for the next video, what should I discuss?!

Oblivion

I learned my lesson, play with fire
And you'll be branded a thief, a liar
A woman known if you feel desire
For something simple, sexy, no strings attached
But they attach anyway, on your part of the party
And they tie to mine, so we're intertwined
But I don't want this if it's another lie
If you want to have more on the side
Tell me now so I can have mine
For my piece of mind
So I don't expect to be The One
The girl waiting for you to come home
Only to realize she'll be alone tonight
I can be prepared, I can reconstruct
The walls I've built, I can raise them up
I know how men are, how they're ruled by their dicks
I've been down that road, and it makes me sick
If that's all you want, tell me
So I can shut you out if I need
And I can block out our memories
So I can fight off those sappy dreams
That I dream when I start to feel
And when I fall, I fall hard
So don't make me fall unless the landing's soft
I'm okay with a watery love
Because it'll be cool, flowing, calm
I'm okay with a burning passion,
There's only lust to that stuff
But a cushioned concrete hurts so much
And then, when I fall, I feel enough
Pain to know it's a lie,
You and I
And I don't want that
Because I'm in the process of feeling so strong
And I don't want to know I've got it all wrong
So sing me to sleep, a sad love song
Let me drift off into oblivious love

Alive

Just another dream, once again seeing things
Disappear even though I've been watching so hard
Hardly blinking, barely thinking,
Just watching, keeping guard over the secrets occupying my space
Spacing out to distance the hurt
Hurting because of the space
So I'll distance myself from you,
Like you did me, like you always have
Distance means nothing if loyalty means everything
When were you loyal? When you
Ripped my life apart, or when you
Poured salt into my open wounds
Rubbing it in, making it sting
But that doesn't matter, does it baby?
No, I have my vodka, my whores
My entertaining melodies, haunting every part of me
I have my body, don't need nobody else
I can win a million, and I can lose one
A face in my past is a reflection in the water
Rippled, moving, constantly changing
Angry to anxious to maddened enraging
Gratifying self-loathing telling myself
I deserve the worst, the best is too good
But that's okay, because beauty's impossible
And forgetting your thoughts is next to possible
With my vodka, my rum, and my feelings being numb
My cigarette buzzes, the smoke cleansing me
Making room through the clutter so I can be free
Let my mind be
In a state of a daze in a state of a haze
Unfazed by the dainty feminine ways
Of sipping mixed drinks, so lightly spiked
I'll take charge, make the less so liked
And the perfect man hated, like I've been hating him
Haunting him, feeling him, feeding him, loving him
Yet breaking him, shaking him, racing him back to life
To my life to live, let me be alive.

Hey You! Thanks.

I liked you better as a memory
A ghost of the past, better let be
I controlled it, controlled the dreams
And told myself it was good for me
I drank it up, swallowed it down, see?
I cut it all open to watch myself bleed
The pills were right there, just within reach
And I can't resist this feeling
Because it's numb, and you're dead
And I can kill you for every word you said
You killed me, it's only fair to let me cut off your head
And drown it in the toilet, let it bleed all over your bed
You told me what I wanted to hear
Come here and make me fear
You again, you're losing your grip on me
Because I'm finally starting to wean
Myself from the alcoholic happy
I'm smiling again, because I can scream
At the world for just being me
And I can run around playing like a kid again
Because you're no longer here, again.
Thank you for making me strong, again

Don't Argue With Me

You're beautiful, man

And I believe that with everything I am

Your insecurities are too secure

In the lies of the past, just break

Break the walls down you put up

And accept that you're beautiful, I'm not making it up

Because my lies are my own, and this is truth

You're awesome, you're beautiful, and I love that you're you

Because so many people are so fake now

And so many people go on about how

They know me, but they can't

Because you tell me secrets I've kept for weeks

And no one knows them besides me

Yet you do, how is that?

How do you know I'm still scarred?

Still marred by the incidents, I worked so hard

Pretending at being happy with this ending

And you know how to love the silence

Making it loud with our thoughts unsaid

But I love it, and I love that you sing

Serenading me with a smile, stay for a while

Just talk with me, I like your voice

Because it's honest, dead honest

And that's hard to find beneath all the lies

You believe, though I know they're false

You're beautiful, inside and out

And I can go on about

You forever

So don't argue.