Lasting

Wanna know a secret?
If you keep it,
I'll show you some truth
Among the midst of the lies that surround you
They cover the windows like the winter induced fog
And they fill up my lungs with a gut wrenching cough
But I'm in the mood for some writing,
And nothing can stop these fingers from typing
It's about time
I spoke my mind

Let's start with my body,
How I always feel ugly
And you only promote that with the words you say
The way you speak of other girls to my face
How you shove your good looks and flaunt them around
Knowing I'll be overlooked in the black surround
I'm merely a shadow, a silhouette, if you will
I'm faceless, nameless, another splotch of mud on the sill
While you're the beauty queen, the king of the hill
As I wait here on foot, serving your every need
You stand there above me, just feeding on me

Moving on, next topic is my mindset
Versus yours, we got communication problems
When I'm doing what I can to make you happy
And you take it as me being selfish and lazy?
Like, I get that everything's hazy
And things are sketchy, getting worse by the second
As I sit here waiting to move up from second place
In your heart, it kills me, being last
Knowing she'll always be first, and I have to accept that
I hate being alone, too much time to think
And you and her are all I think about, honestly

Finally, let's cut to the chase
I feel like I'll never have an equal chance
Because you already determined how I'm at fault
I ruined everything, as if I don't already blame myself
Like I don't already feel like total shit
When I know everyone blames me for all of this
I've lost everything, I've got nothing left
I've sacrificed everything for the sake of a relationship
I'm not even sure you want to last..

Waiting

I'm not sure what you're gonna say
Or if you'll even give me the time of day
But when I look back at your history
And how different you are to me
It hurts me, honestly
Am I being superficial? Because I
Can't even tell, I'm so tired
Of knowing you adored her
And half the time, you run for
Your life to get away from me
Did I do something wrong? I can't seem
To grasp what she has that I don't
I mean, come on, just throw me a bone
Is it that I'm too thin, too nice?
You haven't even read this and I'm walking on thin ice
I honestly feel like shit and you can't even see
Because it's like I'm invisible except when you're horny.
And yeah, I know you'll get pissed beyond belief
When you read this, you'll get angry with me
But it sure as hell beats crying because I'm stuck here
Looking at your wall, seeing her everywhere
All those lovey statuses you never write about me
Because I'm your secret whore, I can't be seen
I can't be on Facebook, I can't take pictures
I have to hide when people are over, like a murderer
Hiding from the FBI, what did I do?
Honestly, I'm just waiting for you..