Now Watch Me

See, here's the thing
I can be alone, I can imagine a ring
No secret ties, no hidden lies
Just a plain old band for myself and I
And I can sing a song in tune,
I can fill up an empty room
With art and the sound of music
But I never thought I'd have to
Looks like you proved me wrong,
So I had to rewrite song and say
I can do this on my own, baby
Now watch me
I deserve so much more
Than what you could have given me for
You sold me out. watched me drown,
Walked away as I sat there on the ground crying
Bawling because I knew I'd lost
The battle I'd been fighting for far too long
But this has been over for years, right love?
When did you stop caring?
When did you decide to cut me off, no goodbye
No final word, just 'He would have my eyes'
But that would mean you believe in me
Which can't be true, even though you know he's yours
And so was I, but we both deserve more
Hayden's memory is something I'll fight for
Because I'm done fighting for you
And he deserves the best in death
Not a father that demands proof
And I'll sing to him his lullabies
I'll look at the sky every night
And pretend I see his starry eyes
While you stay in the basement, hiding
Cowering in the corner, with your protector shielding
You from the burning truth: You had everything,
Now we don't deserve someone like you.
See, I've got someone with which to start anew
And Hayden's my baby, but I can love two
And I've loved him since day one, unlike you
Now watch me walk away,
Notice how I'm done as of today
Go make more unwanted children, while I'll want mine
Because I can do better, we'll both do just fine.

Hush Little Baby

Hey, I'm writing you a letter
Hey, I'm hoping it gets better
'Cause you're all that's on my mind
Hey, I search the sky for you
Hey, do you look for me too
'Cause I'm never very hard to find

Because I'm lying here, staring straight
At Paradise, who stole you away
And I'm lying in the grass tonight
Singing to you, your lullaby

Hey, I scream at you sometimes
Even though I know the fault's all mine
But I still feel like I'm missing my soul
Hey, I sing you songs sometimes
Hey, you're inside every rhyme
And I think of you when I feel alone

Because I'm lying here, staring straight

At Paradise, who stole you away

And I'm lying in the grass tonight

Singing to you, your lullaby

Hush little baby, don't say a word

Mommy's gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won't sing

Then mommy's gonna sing instead

It's Crazy, How Crazy I Am For You

Dedicated to my boyfriend, Brian Hammer. Babe, you've opened my eyes to a whole new world, filled with possibilities. I love you and Evee so much! I can't wait for the future; I'm so excited to see how our interesting relationship dynamics play out!

Tomorrow marks month one,
And I still remember that one sentence
"Hey, I gotcha something"
And I pulled out two bracelets, matching
I <3 My BF and vice versa, and we wore them
And we lost them, and we find them
Then we do it all over again
And I love it
I love that everything's so simple
Even when it's complex, because a single
Fight can be fixed, we can clean any mess
One cigarette later, and we stare
We glare, and we kiss
And when we kiss, I melt
I forget the floor's beneath me and I fall
Like I keep falling for you, I pray I never stop
Because I can live in this abyss, as long as our end's at the top
Unattainable, even if we wanted it
This so-called blindness made me see so clearly
How obvious this was meant to happen, I see it now
Even if we don't last forever, we'll have known life together
Because it's been pure Heaven, all wrapped up in hugs
And I go crazy when you say you love me
Because I've never known a love like this
It's crazy, how crazy I am for you
And let's stop time for awhile
Let me just enjoy your smile
Because it's not often I make people very happy
And to know I'm what you want is unbelievable
I never thought it'd be so achievable
To be the one who wakes up lying in your arms
It's like a Hollywood movie, really
Fall asleep in embrace, wake up in that same place
And it's crazy, how crazy I am for you
So take another sip of this
Because it's only been a month of this,
And I'm anxiously awaiting the rest of this
Because it's crazy, how crazy I am for you

Hayden's Song

When I look up in the night sky

I swear I see your eyes staring back at me

Through the stars, I see you there

You know I miss you and I cry sometimes

And think of where you are

But I know you’re happy in Heaven, baby

And I know you’re watching me

Are you standing there, hands in prayer

Do you wonder what it would have been like to be here

Because I love you and I know you

Are my guardian angel

Sometimes I lie here and think about what you would do

If you were lying with me and I held you

Would you have my eyes

What would your cries sound like

God, give me another chance

I swear I’ll do it differently

I can be what he needs, my eyes are open now

And I can see exactly what I’m supposed to be

But I know you’re happy in Heaven, baby

And I know you’re watching me

Are you standing there, hands in prayer

Do you wonder what it would have been like to be here

Because I love you and I know you

Are my guardian angel

I swear to you, I’ve realized the truth in this

I’ve never felt this emptiness before and it’s

Killing me inside, nowhere else to hide

Come inside, come back to me now, please

Baby...