Objection, Your Honor!

I'm writing, at 12:09 in the morning, so I can sleep. I'm writing to sort out my thoughts.
Truth #1: I push you away because I don't like getting hurt. And every time we get close, I get hurt.
2: I'm pretty sure I enjoy being in denial about wanting to marry James. Because we all know it's bound to happen.
3: You have NO right to tell me to face reality. I've seen more than you ever will.
4: Don't EVER tell me I'm a whore because I'm confused about two guys. I've had sex with one man. You? I lost track.
5: When you say you're not going to pick at my weaknesses, stick to that. Because that's why I won't let myself get as close to you as I am to him.
6: Don't ever try to correct my attitude when you encouraged it yesterday.
7: I cheated once. And it was a make-out. For real. No clothes were removed, no stray hands. Get the eff over it already.
8: I'm not about to die of starvation, okay? I eat once a day, and it's enough to keep me alive. Let me deal with it myself.
9: Don't say you want to hear my problems, and then say I'm an attention whore.
10: Don't ever, ever, ever tell me you're better than me.
11: Stop telling me what beauty really is. This is beauty. Right here. This is my beauty. You wanna be fat? Go ahead. To each his own.
12: Fuck all ya'll that decide to take the role of parents in my life. Facebook is my playground. Get your own. Don't take away my monkeybars.
13: You have no responsibility to me. Don't act like I'm gonna do what you want.
14: You have no say in what I do. Go ahead and complain. I don't give a shit. This is my life, and I'm going to live it how I want to live it.
15: To that specific someone, stop telling my parents everything I write. If they cared, they'd ask. If they don't, don't try to make them.
16: I'm no longer a doormat. You fuck up, you're gone. Out. And yeah, actually, saying I'm a whore is gonna get you a one-way ticket to 'get your ass outta here'.
17: I'm going to cuss, whether you like it or not. I can say whatever I want to say, and telling Jim and Sue isn't going to stop me. And neither will humiliating me.
18: You'll have better luck screwing Michael Jackson than making me willingly open a Bible. So stop trying.
19: The more you try to predict my future, the more I'm going to try to prove you wrong. Yeah, Jim. when you said I'd grow up to be nothing because I'm just trouble? You're wrong.
20: Either support me or get bent. Simple as that. If you're my friend, act like it. If you're my enemy, go eat a box of chocolate. I couldn't care less about you.

I Love You

Sometimes I wish that I could show
Everything you seem to never know
That no matter what, please don't leave
Because I hate to watch you go

Sometimes I wish that you could see
That without you here, I'm not me
My essence is gone, wherever you are
That's where I'm supposed to be

I was told to stay in your grasp
Where you'll protect me, have my back
So you have to stay and make sure I'm okay
And keep me safe from any attack

I know you're not the perfect One
And neither am I, but just for fun
Pretend we're together once again
Let me live in my dreamland, hun

You say you never know where my loyalties lie
But that's because you can't know before I do
And I hope you never tell me to go
Because you have yet to understand I love you