You know, you can only drink so much vodka
Before you stop forgetting
Eventually, you'll remember everything
You tried to forget
Forgetting doesn't mean you'll never remember
It just means you'll temporarily
Lock away memories you'd rather not
Think about
And even when you don't wanna think about them, you will
Because the memories are there..
Because you'll always have the key in your hand
To that locked safe where your memories are kept
Whether you like it or not, you'll always have it
And you can't do anything about it
Even though you want to
You want to pretend they never happened
But everybody knows they happened
Because that sort of thing just doesn't happen randomly
One in a million, no
It happens
To those of us who never suspected
The second we let our guard down, it happens
And as it just so happens, it hurts
Hurts more than a thousand knives cuttibg into my back
And I don't have much fat back there,
So it'd just pierce through
Every muscle tissue
It would pierce it
And I would die, but I would rather die than know you betrayed me
You betrayed me
I love you
I love everything about you and I always will
But you broke me
You made me different than I always pictured myself as
We always promised that we'd be there
Always
Nothing would ever come in between us
And nothing has come in between us
Except you
This isn't the you I remember
This is the you I want to forget
I just wanna lock this new you into my safe
And throw away the key
Maybe I'll swallow it
You'll never find it in my stomach
But then, maybe you will, because I have nothing in there to begin with
Except acid, burning away the fat
Because you said you loved me
And like a fool, I foolishly believed you
Because I thought you knew me better than anybody else ever would
Knew me better than anyone in the entire universe ever could
I thought maybe you'd love me despite everything I'd done
I thought you were just like the other one
The one who stands next to me even now
After what you-we-did
I thought you were identical to each other
I thought that's why I loved him
Because I inadvertently loved you first
And I always will and you know that
But now you've shon me that you never loved me
I mean maybe you do, but you have a fucked-up sense of the word love
Or maybe I'm jut in a messed-up universe where I believe
My body was sacred
It was mine and mine only
And though I shared it with this other man who's been there for me
It was mine to do with as I pleased
And I did not please you enough
Or you would have stopped
You took advantage of me
And I feel betrayed
It honestly would have been better if you would have
Just shot me in the face with a double-barrel shotgun
Like those kids talk about--Barney the dinosaur
I can be Barney, and you can shoot me
Because I would rather you shoot me
Than show me the truth
Because I didn't think it could get much worse
Now you've thrown my face into the dirt
And stood on my head and said
That's what you get for falling in love
With your best friend
When you know that you're not worth it
Because your father was right, or your
Pastor was right, or your
Teachers were right,
Someone was right
In knowing that you were wrong
And someone was right there
To point out every little thing you did wrong
And they never let you forget it
Even though you want to
They're always there to remind you
They have the spare key in their hand
And they'll unlock that door whenever they can
Just to show you how truly unworthy you really are
And they'll never quit showing you
Because that's just what they do
That's how they live
Because someone needs to remind you of the truth
And THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE
But the truth also shrouds you in lies
Because you don't wanna see the truth
So you put on a blanket, cover it in words
Words you know don't fit you
But you just want to be those words
You wanna be beautiful
You wanna be loved
You wanna be wanted
You want to be someone's love
Someone's beloved
Someone
Wants
Only
You
In
Life.
You wanna be someone's first
And you will do anything to be that first
I remember my sister
When she was a little girl
She wanted to be a princess
I wanted to be a king
But she wanted to be a princess
She still wants to be a princess
And she's older than me
And now I look at all the little girls in the stores
And they wanna be princesses
And I see them grow up
As their clothes just get more
And more
Invisible, like the Emperor's Cloak
It's not there, but they just wanna be somebody's princess
They'll do anything
DO YOU LOVE ME NOW?
Do you love me now that I have no secrets
Now that I'm naked before you?
Naked as a abby, but when you're naked
You're vulnerable
And now one wants to be vulnerable
Because people will take advantage of that
And no one wants to be taken advantage of
Like you took advantage of me
Like I take advantage of every opportunity given to me
To
Prove
You
Wrong.
No one wants to get hurt
No one wants to feel the pain
We're talking right now, you and me
Well, we were
We're fighting
No one wants to fight
But we do anyway and we know who wins
But we still fight anyway
You know, I know you do, because you
Know me just that well
You know I won't stay mad at you
I'll get over it in the morning
And I"ll still love you because
I've loved you for so long
I've loved you for all these years
And over the past few months I've loved you more
And in a whole new way than I ever thought possible
This isn't just some childhood crush, it's this:
I would die for you
I would really die for you
I'd trust you with anything,
Anything in the world, including
The love of my life
And I don't know know why you let
Me think that you felt the same
Because I know you don't
And I'm sick of hearing people say
They do when they don't
Tell me the fucking truth already!
I'm sick of hearing you say you love me
Then turn around and stab me
And not even in the back
But in the chest
Where you know I can see you, where you know
I can watch your every move
And I can watch the blood pour out the open wound
And I can't do anything about it
And all too soon
My heart stops beating
But I stay alive
Like Davy Jones, I'll live forever
But I'll never be truly alive, because my heart's dead
But I'll still walk around like a zombie
Just without the flesh-eating
Because my heart is missing
Just like that part of my life
My soul
Is missing, because I'm
Missing you.
Dear you,
You know who you are, too
Here's the honest-to-god truth
I love you, always loved you
Always will love you, miss you
And want you
I'm confused
I felt used, and I'm sorry
I didn't think you'd feel this pain
That I've been feeling
And all I've wanted
Is to hang from the ceiling
But that won't do any good, so I'm apologizing
I'm still sorry.
