My Own Little World

Maybe I'm crazy to ever believe

That some way in life you could ever want me

My heart says you once did, you had
Before I gained wait, prior to fat
When I step on the scale, my world tips down
Just like my smile turns into a frown
Once I see the numbers
Much over one hundred
Adding the twenty-five candles
Shirts showing love handles
Every fire extinguished
Means another pound is finished
Another diet failing me
I'm sitting here researching
More so I can be less
I want invisibility, another guess
At the shadow along your own
This is my realm, the only one I've known
And it knows me, it sees me
It feels me, it feeds me
This is the place I love myself
And in spite of everyone else
This is the world where I can be free
Because this is the world where you can love me.

My ABC's Part 1

Anger
Aggression
Addiction
All the things I bottled up inside
Beauty
Betrayal
Bleak outlook
Because these are what I denied
Careful
Coy
Catch my bait
So I can rebuke you, watch you cry
Dare you to
Die
Dark depression
Don't let me go, I won't live through the night
Empty
Engaged in
Egotistic ways
Everything good runs away from the sky because
God
Grace, and
Goodness
Gone through the misty lie
Hope we'll last
Helped me hold the blade
Handed me the alcohol
Have to take another sip..

Flaws of Love

You show up on my doorstep trying to piss me off
But seriously, when will you ever try and shut the hell up?
You say I don’t deserve you, and I’ll never find another you
And I can’t even argue with that, because I know it’s true


And who am I to argue with the god of your little world?
You’re right, I deserve so much better than the lies you fed to me
And it’s true, I’m done with you, so keep insulting me
Because I don’t want another you, I already got rid of him
So walk away, baby, you know you’ll never get me back again


You say she treats you better and she tells you all the things
That I never wanted you to know, because I’m just that mean
I told you you were stupid, and druggie to top it off
But I didn’t, and you proved me wrong, but hey, the flaws of love


I guess I’m just the monster in me
And should be hurt, but wait, you’ve already finished that again
I told you we weren’t meant to be
But did you listen? No! And now it’s my fault again?

Monster

You were my monster
So deadly, hypnotic
You tore me to pieces
But I was fascinated, exotic
I held on tighter
Every time you tried to let go
'Cuz you made my heart grow
And when you left it exploded

But I would have loved you
Had you given me a chance
I would have made us
So very different
I could have been the one that you always wanted
But you would have eventually killed me in the end

I humanized you
Turned you into a lover
But you said I wanted to end you
And I heard a rumor
You want to love me better
And I believe it
But I let you go then, and now I have another

You ripped my tears away
Then stepped in and saved the day
But you pushed me too far this time
So I took back my life

Frozen In Time

oppression

obsession

suppression

wondering how to run this recession

hearts cant run on depression any longer

sooner or later theyll all break down

suppressing the memories hidden in frowning smiles

and id walk a mile for eternity

to solve this puzzle i havent even seen

too massive, impressive

impressions run the world now here

cannot run from what cannot hide here

in the open, where the river is so wide

you cant see the red horizon

bloody tears fill the sky and i wonder:

how high can i fly til i breathe no longer?

spread my feathers, take flight in the water

shooting for the sun, to set fire to rebellious daughters

and lying sons, douse them in cold

set them on warm, and watch their molds melt

all around them, til there's only reality

and hope mixed with frailty

broken bones wrapped around their hearts made of not gold

but silver to keep them frozen in time.