Foolish Whore

woke up ten o’clock last night
didn’t know we were in a fight, no
now i’m layin’ here wondering why
did you have to go
i know im not the prettiest girl
face can’t make you fall to your knees
but i thought we had something special
now i know it was just a dream

because you said youd never hurt me
never leave me,
and you said
you loved me and i gave you everything
like a foolish girl, so naive

as i lay here drowning in my
bed, i can’t see, cant even breathe
ill sit here, look at your picture, and
try not to scream
i always said id never cry
over a guy, stupid of me
to think i was worth you wanting
i thought you wanted, that you loved me

because you said youd never hurt me
never leave me,
and you said
you loved me and i gave you everything
like a foolish girl, so naive

said i was beautiful and
everything i wanted to hear
said i was special to you
everything you’d ever need
you said so

you said youd never hurt me
never leave me,
and you said
you loved me and i gave you everything
like a foolish girl, so naive

Random Ramblings of a Grumpy Gills

Sitting on the couch, staring at my blade

Sick of pretending I'm okay

Walk out the door, wear my poker face

Shutting out the memories engraved into my brain

You said you'd never hurt me, you'd rather dig your grave

So when you tore my heart apart, did you look away?

Did I cross your mind today?

And you, you're guilty of this, too

Best friend here, I wouldn't hurt you

And yes, I'll lie to hide the truth

That yeah, I still love the fucker, what could I do?

Once you choose, you choose

But damn, woman, you shoved a stake through me

You, too, you're being rather vague

I don't know how you feel about me, man

Am I too big, too tall, too bone-thin, a fag?

Since that's what you call everyone else, douchebag

You're confusing me with your twisted words

I don't know if he's even your friend, which hurts

Because if he's a lie, then I am too

Last, but not least, here comes my dad

All I ever wanted was for you to friggin' love me

Show me the love I yearned for

But nope, you're too immature to think beyond yourself

And I'm starting to realize you're a lie, too

But, Daddy, I don't want more lies, you see

I want the truth for once, maybe.

Notepad Cleaning Again!

Been two years now and I remember when
We met and every single day since then
And I know that you love me still
We met on the sidewalk in front of my house
Wearing all black I said, "Watch your mouth
My daddy hears everything from here on out"
Looked at me with that smile
Said, "Would you mind talking for a while?"
So we stood out in the January cold
I said, "I hope you now I got a man
And I ain't gonna cheat on him"
You said, "Well, I got tons of time to wait"


I see the devil awaken in you
I know he sleeps
And as your anger towards me goes
It twists so painfully
I see the rage upon your face
I know what's coming near
As you step closer to me
I now you sense my fear

I close my eyes
It's alright
Give him a chance
To be different
I know he'll change
No time to waste
Let him be
This is all because of me

As time slows down
I look around
And try to hide
My pain inside
I know it's lies
But it's alright
He has my heart.

Don't Tell Me No

Just for clarification, this is NOT about James. This is just a spur-of-the-moment song I wrote after listening to Miley Cyrus' song "Can't Be Tamed."


Boy, I thought we'd been together for so long
But when I loosen my grip you still hold on
You know I hate tight spaces, hate seeing the same faces
Hate being told you're right and I'm wrong

I thought you'd know by now that you can't tell me no
Thought you'd have realized I'll go solo
Don't tell me what is right for me, I'm my own
I am not your toy, I'll do whatever I want

I can't be controlled
I can't be told
What to do with my life
I'll go down this road
So don't ask me why
I play with troublesome guys
I'll get myself burned
But at least I'm still fly

Boy, you know you made a mistake when you told me to go
You said it was for my own good, you told me so
You said I'd play with fire, burning oh, so cold
Told me I was dumb for going all alone

I thought you'd know by now that you can't tell me no
Thought you'd have realized I'll go solo
Don't tell me what is right for me, I'm my own
I am not your toy, I'll do whatever I want

I can't be controlled
I can't be told
What to do with my life
I'll go down this road
So don't ask me why
I play with troublesome guys
I'll get myself burned
But at least I'm still fly

The Day

I look along the carpet, following soft lace

Controlling my feet, keep my knees from shaking

I'm so nervous my face is burning

I raise my vision and I see you

I see you standing there, you're nervous too

Dressed up in that tux we ordered just for this

And I'm ready to tackle this, we can do this

Just keep my footing calm and precise

And try not to run, though I want to

I want to run into your arms, where I feel safe

And I feel so alive, and that's why I'm here

My feet kick up my dress as I hear my echoing footsteps

The music plays and the crowd sways

The pews are arrayed with beautifully chosen shades

I want to run my fingers along them, just feel them again

I take a deep breath, and start to walk

I take my place and you hold my hand

Squeeze it lightly, keep me balanced

The preacher drones, but I don't notice

I'm too caught up in the way your looking at me

I should know that look, it's been so long

But it's coming to me now-

This is forever

But I've waited forever for forever to start

So I try not to get tipsy from the nerve-wracking energy

And I glance up a few times to make sure I'm alive

This seems like heaven

You turn toward me and start to speak

We've rehearsed this before, but I still can't breathe

I'll be lying in your arms tonight

And forever after, if that's alright with you

I recite what I've written for this day, I've waited so long

"Hey babe, remember when we first met

How you said you loved me at first sight?

I never believed you til now

I'm seeing you for the first time, and I'm liking it all

I'm taking it all in, every piece

And I want to give you this ring because I don't need it

I've saved it for you, and now I have you

So take it, wear it, show it off

Because it's really quite manly, you know

And before we get all professional and boring

I just want to say I can't wait for the morning

Waking up to you saying, 'Babe, I love you'

Priceless." The minister looked at me and laughed

He carried on, so I guess it wasn't that bad

I hear you speak, I speak the truth

"Do you take him?" Yes, I do.