Notepad Cleaning Again!

Been two years now and I remember when
We met and every single day since then
And I know that you love me still
We met on the sidewalk in front of my house
Wearing all black I said, "Watch your mouth
My daddy hears everything from here on out"
Looked at me with that smile
Said, "Would you mind talking for a while?"
So we stood out in the January cold
I said, "I hope you now I got a man
And I ain't gonna cheat on him"
You said, "Well, I got tons of time to wait"


I see the devil awaken in you
I know he sleeps
And as your anger towards me goes
It twists so painfully
I see the rage upon your face
I know what's coming near
As you step closer to me
I now you sense my fear

I close my eyes
It's alright
Give him a chance
To be different
I know he'll change
No time to waste
Let him be
This is all because of me

As time slows down
I look around
And try to hide
My pain inside
I know it's lies
But it's alright
He has my heart.

Don't Tell Me No

Just for clarification, this is NOT about James. This is just a spur-of-the-moment song I wrote after listening to Miley Cyrus' song "Can't Be Tamed."


Boy, I thought we'd been together for so long
But when I loosen my grip you still hold on
You know I hate tight spaces, hate seeing the same faces
Hate being told you're right and I'm wrong

I thought you'd know by now that you can't tell me no
Thought you'd have realized I'll go solo
Don't tell me what is right for me, I'm my own
I am not your toy, I'll do whatever I want

I can't be controlled
I can't be told
What to do with my life
I'll go down this road
So don't ask me why
I play with troublesome guys
I'll get myself burned
But at least I'm still fly

Boy, you know you made a mistake when you told me to go
You said it was for my own good, you told me so
You said I'd play with fire, burning oh, so cold
Told me I was dumb for going all alone

I thought you'd know by now that you can't tell me no
Thought you'd have realized I'll go solo
Don't tell me what is right for me, I'm my own
I am not your toy, I'll do whatever I want

I can't be controlled
I can't be told
What to do with my life
I'll go down this road
So don't ask me why
I play with troublesome guys
I'll get myself burned
But at least I'm still fly

The Day

I look along the carpet, following soft lace

Controlling my feet, keep my knees from shaking

I'm so nervous my face is burning

I raise my vision and I see you

I see you standing there, you're nervous too

Dressed up in that tux we ordered just for this

And I'm ready to tackle this, we can do this

Just keep my footing calm and precise

And try not to run, though I want to

I want to run into your arms, where I feel safe

And I feel so alive, and that's why I'm here

My feet kick up my dress as I hear my echoing footsteps

The music plays and the crowd sways

The pews are arrayed with beautifully chosen shades

I want to run my fingers along them, just feel them again

I take a deep breath, and start to walk

I take my place and you hold my hand

Squeeze it lightly, keep me balanced

The preacher drones, but I don't notice

I'm too caught up in the way your looking at me

I should know that look, it's been so long

But it's coming to me now-

This is forever

But I've waited forever for forever to start

So I try not to get tipsy from the nerve-wracking energy

And I glance up a few times to make sure I'm alive

This seems like heaven

You turn toward me and start to speak

We've rehearsed this before, but I still can't breathe

I'll be lying in your arms tonight

And forever after, if that's alright with you

I recite what I've written for this day, I've waited so long

"Hey babe, remember when we first met

How you said you loved me at first sight?

I never believed you til now

I'm seeing you for the first time, and I'm liking it all

I'm taking it all in, every piece

And I want to give you this ring because I don't need it

I've saved it for you, and now I have you

So take it, wear it, show it off

Because it's really quite manly, you know

And before we get all professional and boring

I just want to say I can't wait for the morning

Waking up to you saying, 'Babe, I love you'

Priceless." The minister looked at me and laughed

He carried on, so I guess it wasn't that bad

I hear you speak, I speak the truth

"Do you take him?" Yes, I do.

Insecurity

It's hard keeping my emotions dry
When you throw pails of water into my eyes
I'm just trying to survive
In a world where there's no wrong and right
Just take me home
I can only hold my head so high
Above the shark fins swimming by
The ominous music orchestrated behind
And the constant fear of rejection hidden in my mind
Just take me home

I can only hold my composure
For as long as I can hide from exposure
Trapped inside this walled enclosure
My ticket out--overexposure
Just let me go
Eliminate this state of regression
Living under constant suppression
Dreading the morning to awaken depression
Labeling frustration as passive-aggression
Just let me go

I can't be perfection, I'm not classy
I know I'm not pretty, don't even ask me
I've heard you go on about how I'm not dashing
And I walk really weird and I dress kind of trashy
Kill the beast!
I'm not really desirable
Not even very admirable
She's got the love handle, the chubby face
Just let her hang there, she's prettier this way

ABC's Part 3

Pleasing Ana is just about--
Pleading with you--is as hard as
Playing an instrument I've never seen
Plucking the strings like a trampoline
Quietly jumping to remain unseen
Quickly running to the scene of the crime
Quirky little lady lays in the dark
Quilted in blood and glass shards
Running away, I run into you
Resting your grasp upon my throat
Realizing I'm your victim, you realize too late
Run, child, I'll meet you in dreams
Sleeping off your nightmares from the night before
Still you don't know I'm the one you see
Seeing is believing, but not at night
Spill your water glass because of the fright
Travel through time
To see my mistakes
Til I see your face again
Timed perfectly in sync with the death of me
Untimely death, if you ask me
Universe collided with yours, creating
Uncalled-for anger and sweat and tears
Unwanted frustrations poured out through
Violence was you and me
Violet red was the love's blood
Violins crashed through the bassists song
Vying for your attention
Which you gave freely
While expecting full commitment
Why the long face?
When you wanted this the whole time
Xerxes the king was kinder than you
Xenophilic fool, thinking you knew love
Xenophobic idiot, you ruined my trust
Xyloid heart turned petrified stone
You made me die seven hells
Yesterday turned tomorrow from your
Yellow-jaundiced heart
You let me hang on while you let go
Zealously you remained jealous
Zoetic turned to deathly
Zero tolerance for me, you hypocrite
Zig and zag and drag me down til there's nothing left