I Can't Even Think, Yo

I can scream forever it seems
You still will never hear me
Your ears are sewn shut
While your mouth opens up
To place the blame on me
And everything I pretend to be
I can only do so much, actually
I can run a thousand circles
And still end up here
I can steal a thousand souls
And only want you near
Because I'm so tired of fighting
Always, constantly, a never-ending fight
And I still am the one at fault
But what all have all these souls bought
Nothing's doing me any good
I'm still stuck in this rut of obedient girl
And I miss being free, being the girl who I was
I love you so much, but you're controlling me
Your constant accusations about the cheating
The texts you must read, the calls you must check
The spying you do when I'm not in bed
Honestly, I'm being honest
I haven't seen another man
I have eyes for only you, don't you understand?
I want you, just you, and I'm sorry

Didn't Mean Shit to You

There's a fine line between love and hate
Such a shame you hacked through it with my rusty old blade
And you threw away everything for your easy lay
So now I get to dance upon your grave
I get to sit there and laugh at you
At all the stupid things you'd do
If you could see me right now, you'd laugh too
Because I'm making faces at the gravestone

And it's sad to see that we were nothing
But at least I got out while I was something
Now you're dead and gone, I've carried on
Without you, I am better
And it's sad to say we had it all
Then you let everything fall
With all the shit we went through
I guess it didn't mean shit to you

I save a seat for you in church
In case you ever show, so I can
Radiate the hatred that I feel for you
And yes, I've been SO over you
But not the things you put me through
Because you have yet to tell the truth
I guess he didn't mean shit to you

So what's it take to see through the haze?
And what'll make you look my way
Cuz I got a finger up just for you and
At the same time I'm yelling, "Hey! Fuck you!"
You'll never even understand
What I went through while you were being screwed
So no, I'll never be over this
But I'm SO over you

Me Rambling About My Excitement On Being A Model!

I'm a freaking model, dude!

Her

I remember the day I met you
And how it felt when you held me in your arms
I remember when you said, "I love you
And I just want you to be mine"
Now it's been a little while,
And I'm starting to see how this plays out
It'll start out all nice and slow
Because that's the way this kind of stuff goes
All loving words and cuddled firsts,
Enveloped inside the lies
She creates a world unspoken
Unleashing anger never known before
She hides the truth under desperate pleading
Always pleasing others with her legs spread wide
And when she knows we're staying
That's when she starts saying you're not mine
You're hers, you're cheating, I wasted my time
She says I sleep around, she'll kill me
But she has yet to act on it, she doesn't know me well
Now our love grows quicker, more permanent
And as it solidifies, she grows desperate
Her world is shaking, we're making it quake
With our determination to stay
Now we're still together, still say forever
As we wait for the white lace to follow

Every Day

Uhm, just to clarify, I really don't miss anyone. I was thinking about tattoos in gym today and then the lyrics started out about Hayden, but since I need to get over that, I turned it into a breakup song.

I got a new tattoo last Saturday
Before you left, it says your name
I loved it, now I want it to fade
Like my spirit when you walked away from me
You could have looked behind you
And seen my eyes see through you
I know you never thought you'd have to
Be the one to leave me without you

I look at the rain pouring down my face
Staring into the mirror of the lake
Water rippling as the tears fall mixed with the hate
But I miss you every day

Sometimes I look through old photos of
Us and what we considered love
But now I can see we're wearing thin
Strings holding together like it's a sin
And whenever I smoke a cigarette
I see your face and want to forget
In the dark I see your silhouette
So as I lay here on the bed where we slept

I look at the rain pouring down my face

Staring into the mirror of the lake

Water rippling as the tears fall mixed with the hate

But I miss you every day

I'm staring at the water, watching it turn black

Wondering how much it costs to turn time back

How much must I sacrifice to take the hands

And move them counter just to have another chance?