Goodbye

If I went to sleep tonight and never woke up,
What would you do?
Say I took that final overdose and ended my existence
And stopped the pulse that keeps me alive
If I called you and said goodbye
Right now
Then shot myself without hanging up
Would you even cry at the funeral?
Would you say you were sorry I was that selfish that I would break my family's heart?
Or would you look through my secrets to try to learn the truth?

If I told you one last time that I wanted to die, would you continue to blow it off?
Or would you take me seriously?
Would you call me and refuse to leave me alone until I tell you what happened?
Or would you text, "I'm sorry," to me?
If you called me right now, would you be able to tell I'm crying?
Would you let me cry without hanging up on me?
Only to interrupt to say you love me and who cares what he says anyway?
Would you jump in your car to come comfort me, dry my tears?
Or would you tell me you wish you could, you really do, but you cant?
You just can't.
If I called you, would you answer?
Any time of the night?
Would you tell me to stop being so down and depressing, or would you listen to me?
Are you able to see the cuts without actually being here to see them?
Or do you really think I wouldn't lie to you?
If I said goodbye, would you worry?
Or figure I'm just giving you bullshit?
I'm just kidding, duh!
I'd never take my own life!
I'm not like that.
I mean, HELLO?!, it's Brenna!!

Guess what?
Goodbye.