My Questions

I can hear you whispering; you're rather conspicuous about how you feel. "She's pathetic! She can't even run one  lap around the gym! Have you seen her fall? Fucking hilarious!" But see, it's not funny. It's painful. Do you know how it feels when your ankle and your leg seem to only be connected by a strand of withering muscle? And every time you step down, they reattach? Except it's not a gentle reattachment. It's more like a door slamming-they hit each other with so much force I almost cry.
Do you know how it feels to be the third wheel? "The cute boy wants to hang out with us, Brenna! Let's go!" "No, Alea, he wants to hang out with you. Not me. He doesn't even know my name. I'm invisible, remember?"
I don't have one of those exotic faces or sexy bodies. I have chubby cheeks, sad eyes, no curves, and giant hip bones. I have a spiteful personality, complete with glares and swearing. I do best when I'm on my own; just me and some music, maybe some drugs and regs. I can finally be myself. The same routine I do every day, the one where I just love talking and hanging out, isn't as easy of a show to put on as you might think.
Do you know what it's like to be numb? To be so out of touch with reality that you create your own world inside your mind? Then, when something goes wrong in your secret world, it affects both worlds. both the real one and the one in your head?
Do you understand what I mean when I say medicine can do nothing? Medicine cannot stop the voices in your head that tell you everything you don't want to hear, but you hear anyway. Music cannot drown out the voices, they just scream louder and louder and louder until they're the only thing you ever hear when you're alive?