Another Absent Father

When I imagined you, I pictured a king

Kept from his family by an evil witching

I imagined you fighting to keep me

Brandishing your sword to fight the enemy

I thought you'd be remorseful for making us believe

You didn't want us, we were nothing

But then again, I never believed in fairy tale stories

I remember when we met, I always took your side

I thought the best of you, but you have a black mind

The only logical explanation for you

Was that I wasn't good enough, which is true

Will I ever be good enough?
Will we ever be enough for you to love?

When you left us, I was a baby

I grew up thinking it was my fault, you made me

Feel guilty for something I had no say in

And I mean, I'm just saying

How I felt as you never wrote, never called

Never thought anything of it, you watched me fall

You watched us suffer, through all of the pain

And you said nothing to stop what we became

Your children have been broken, whether you know it or not

I, for one, have witnessed enough

You leaving made me feel I was unworthy

No matter what I did, no one could love me

You didn't even leave a picture to remember you by
I have no evidence of you holding me while I cried

Did you cry when I wanted to die?
Did you feel any pain as we grew up without you?
Did you feel anything?

I don't know where you've been all these years

When you should have been there to wipe our tears

When we had our first heartbreaks and had no threats

When we fell through the floors and had no one to protect us

I don't know how you could cope

Knowing you were killing all of our hope

In our father, our sperm donor, our dad

And my imaginary you is the best you I had

Because he fought for us, he loved us, and he actually cares

But I can fight for myself, you see, because you were never there

I can fend for myself, get what I need,

I know I'm not enough for you, and I never will be

Go back to being perfect, beautiful, in my head

Because right here, right now, the real you is dead.