The Rejected

You say God isn't distant
He's always here in front of me
But why can I not feel him or see?
I don't like being this intimate
I said I believed because I do
But I liked it better when you were high
In the heavens and didn't see me pass by
I'm not sure I like this newly discovered you
See, my life is full of traitors
Secrets mean gossip and emotions are dead
I keep my real feelings inside my head
And I don't let them out for fear of hatred
I don't like that you can find me
When I don't want to be found
When I don't want to be around
When I just want you to let me be
I can't accept something
That's always within reach
Love given freely?
You've gotta be kidding me
That's too much to handle
For someone who's sworn off unconditional love
For something read of in a book, from above
But not real, I don't understand
I won't let you in
Can't let you win
I will shut you out of my head
Until the moment my heart is dead
I can't let myself be open
To the idea of a loving
Person who knows everything
And still wants to be with me
I'm sorry, God, whoever you are
I can't be around you if you don't love me only from afar

Skin Deep

So my friend Tory from T3 wanted me to write a song for her so we could jam out to it. I couldn't get it right because I can only write when I'm in the mood, you know? So last night, as I was fighting with my 'friend,' I got the words :) enjoy! Love you Tory! And special thanks to Brody for pissing me off :)

I see I'm not your only girl, your diamond in the stone
You're too busy thinking of yourself to see I'm sitting here alone
I'm waiting for you to make a move, say what I need to hear
Bu I know you're whispering it into her ear now
The more the better
Bet you feel like a player
All hyped up on your swagger and flirts
Not even noticing how many hearts you hurt
Jump like a rabbit from one girl to another
And to you we're all just faces, identical to each other
When Karma comes around looking for a friend
I'll call you
When love starts to twist your throat with no possible end
My dreams will come true
Don't hate the player, just hate the game
And now, to me, you're just another name
Just another jacked up, sugar-coated trap
Ready to call it quits the moment reality slaps
Can't stand to take the heat
Staring at your feet
Seeing your mistake
Knowing you're a fake
You took away an angel
Replaced her with a stranger
Leaving her high
In the sky
Without any wings
Voice too hoarse from sobs to sing
Rage overpowers me, replacing the weeping
Anger at myself, making feelings skin deep
Deceit has stitched itself into your mind
But revenge follows you closely behind
The passion I thought I once felt
Was my walls starting to melt
Slowly working your way into me
And I let you in, showed you things no one's seen
Then I saw you walk away
And I made up my mind that day
I locked away my heart, threw away the key
And brought it back out to prove
You don't control me anymore

The Other Side

Alright guys, so this is my new poem. It's not really new, but the style is very new to me. My friend Michael told me about different rhyming styles, and I became interested in this particular one, where the last word of one line rhymes with the first word of the next one. So, read it and think about it. It might be a little difficult to understand, but trust me, it all makes sense at the end :) Enjoy!

I open my eyes from an unending sleep
Weeping I find I cannot see
Needing comfort I curl into a ball
Stalling the death I know is to come
"One day," they said, "your life will end
Pretending won't make it last."
Faster my thoughts replay in my brain
Raining tears won't stop the inevitable
Stereotypical ending for a teenage rebel
Selling her soul to the pitch-black day
Saying, "I love you. Come closer to me.
See what I can do for you.
Soon I will take the world, soon it will burn."
Turning onto my back, I cried
High in the sky, a light started to grow
Knowing it was a bad idea, I tried to stand
Demanding to know what was going on
A fond voice broke through the dark with light
Mighty stitches of life started to spread
Threads shone cold black and happy gold
Molds of characters in my life sat on a shelf
Myself among them
Tens of gallons of tears and blood
Flooded from a bucket onto a robe
Supposing it was a towel, I started to walk
Talking to the strange man
Fanned out on the ground were brilliant white clothes
Both the salt and crimson
Did nothing to stain
Amazed, I looked at the Being who saved me
He said so many things, and all were wise
Surprised, I asked myself, "Who is this guy?!"
I AM WHO I AM he replied without pause
Caused by his distant stare, I glanced at his feet
Seeing a quilt like Iowa farmland
Not understanding, I asked what it was
"It's your life from the top," the man replied
Sighing, I said, "My life is a mess.."
Confessing my past, my tortured soul
Full of hatred and greed
Needing them to survive
Alive was to be dead, and dead to be peace
Piecing the puzzle together, he said,
"Death would make you separated from me
And seeing that would hurt more than I, myself, dying
Lying and stealing is what you do
But too many people don't mind
Finding me in the dark where I am not
I bought your soul back with my Son
One drop of His blood covered your sin
I'm winning the war between the devil and I
By showing you your life from the other side."

Prayer of the Sinner

Let me learn to love the unseen
Help me to forgive, to repent, to be clean
Give me the strength to carry on with my day
Give me peace in my mind, clear the disarray
Make my life as You want it to be
Full of love and joy, or test me with suffering
Let me feel Your presence, drown me in Your heart
Spare me from Your enemy, don't let us drift apart
Because I want to learn to know Your ways
And give myself to You and obey
I want you to be my first thought
Every morning and say I was bought
By the Superior God, no other can stand against
No other has Your army, because You're indeed the best
Satan only lies, he steals away Your own
Muhammad could only live so long, his words weren't engraved into stone
Buddha agrees with love, with happiness and joy
But he also seems to think that life's only a toy
But You have taught Your people that only You can save
And because the world's Your opposite, we must be consistently brave
People will not love us, because we don't love the world
And we don't need to follow society's rules, for we listen to Your word
Humans will always let us down, You've taught me that quite well
But I'm just starting to realize I need to leave my shell
I'd built up a castle, fortified, strong
But You ripped it down, because You know I was wrong
I'm meant to be a witness, to discourage misplaced love
I'm supposed to interpret symbols, like the olive branch and dove
It's hard to break out of here
When the outside world is my biggest fear
I don't want to be hated, to be told I'm wasting my time
How can I explain I'm Yours and You're mine?
No one seems to understand the relationship we share
And I guess that might be the legitimate reason speaking makes me scared
I'm a Jonah mixed with Moses, I can't speak to crowds
I'm not one of those outspoken girls, not afraid to speak aloud
I'm also really selfish, and I have a lot of hate
I don't want to share You with some girls, let them decide their fates
So help me, God, to be like You
And I'll be back in Heaven with You
I'll stand in the entrance to Your grand home
And kneel at Your feet as You sit on Your throne
And when that day comes, when the angels start to sing
You'll be waiting for me, the Light my death will bring

Love is Enough

When we were talking earlier today
I thought of something I should say:
I love everything you do
The way you smile, say, "I love you"
I love it when you touch me, it shows how much you care
I love it when you caress my arm, and when you play with my hair
I love it when you make me food; God knows I love to eat
I love it when you text me randomly, saying you bought a treat
I love how simple our love is, and how words cannot describe
What we feel inside
Our hearts are close to bursting, our lips tired from the kiss
Our memories are becoming full from all the images we don't wanna miss
So, my love, I'll be sweet, but only out of love
'Cause I love you, you love me, and love is always enough