Five O'Clock Medicine

As he hands me another drink

I close my eyes and think,

What am I getting myself into?

So I grasp the bottle, going full throttle

Aiming to get drunk, hear the brain go THUNK

So I can block you out, tune you out

Keep you out of my head, 

Fill it emptiness instead of you

And this piece of the puzzle too

Sobriety is too hard, harder than steel

And I've lied, cheated, stolen for this

Have my flask filled with Texas, shot glass by my bed

I have my blade with memories lying next to my head

Cigarettes on the table, thought I'd be able to quit

But it messes with my mind, and I love it

I love this feeling I get, I get it

I understand the guilt, the shame

Since I always cringe when I hear your name

And I've never wanted this fame

Of being the one with the past, catching up fast

Falling down faster, deeper into holes

Who's gonna catch me? You? You told me

To run, run far away, in fact, I should have been gone yesterday

And so you hand me another bottle of my five o'clock remedy

Takes away the pain, brings back my smile again

It's all become a routine for me

Go out, get drunk, get high, high fives

Down low, too slow, passing out on the floor

It's okay, I've already been down that way

What more could happen that I haven't already seen?

As if they can take advantage of me

There's nothing to take advantage of, love

I've been broken, haven't been fixed

Except by my five o'clock medicine, mixed

With the three and the two o'clock feelings

It's a bad feeling, to be reeling, room's spinning

Round in circles, where'd the floor go?
You look so attractive with this newly found ego

And the buzz makes it go away, makes me forget

That no matter what I do, you still don't love me yet

And I'll never be worth more than a cent

Facing repercussions, I haven't caused it

So I drink

I drink it all up, feel it go down

Feel it burn as it turns my world upside down

Come lie with me, stranger, come make me feel numb

And bring with you the vodka as iced as the room

Taken out of a freezer colder than you if it's true

You're my lover, my medicine, my homemade recipe

So come to me, work for me, just help me sleep 

We Got This ;)

Close my eyes through the dark of the night
The lights are off, start the fight
Take a hit, two, three, four
Another enemy hits the floor
Another one bites the dirt on the ground
As I jump up, scream, and dance around
The bodies of the enemies
That existed to haunt me
With memories,
You see me,
Happy
Free
Freedom came with a heavy price
But I paid it, weighed it, saved it, savored it
Still focused on making it to tomorrow
Instead of studying the wrongs of today
Keep looking forward, only turning around
To laugh at the demons following me around
On my side are my friends, holding my hands
Kicking down the doors I was too weak to handle
We've got a handle on this

In The Clouds

You can't hurt me now
I'm so high in the clouds
And you can't bring me down
To the horror I feel when you're around
Because my home is so far up
And I gave you up
Like you did me, never enough
For you to love
So I flew home
My mind's home alone
And my body stays here,
But the other girl inside here
Right here, my soul, she can't hear
You anymore because she's home
She ran away, startled with fear
And emotion she never experienced
She bolted like a deer in the headlights
And she towers over your head
In the clouds, where she is now
Watching you, your every move
Carefully calculating your every truth
I'm over you
I'm over you
I'm over you, but not what you
Did, highest bid
Goes to you,
For denying what's true
She watches you
From her house,
In the clouds,
We're both over you now.

Invisibility Effect: Why I Don't Believe In Love

Stay tuned next week for my webisode on my views of dieting! Thanks for watching!

I Remember You

"You're either a sweet dream, or a beautiful nightmare
Either way, I don't wanna wake up from you.."
You woke me up,
Struck me a deal,
Let's be friends, when we were more
I cared for you then, not any more
I enjoyed my slumber,
Where there was no number
No countdown to explosion
Expulsion, you expelled me from you
From the life I'd always wanted to be a part of
I wanted to believe in love, thought you were love
Could have sworn I'd deal with a few more blows
For the sake of seeing you smile again
Then that night, it ruined us
It ruined me, in all reality
I can't sleep some nights because I flash back
Flashbacks haunt me like you do
Reliving that 'incident'
That 'accident'
Every time I accidentally close my eyes
I want to claw my eyes out,
Just shut out the memory
You have no idea what you did to me, do you?
I don't expect you to, not asking you to even care
I'm just telling you my side of the story
See, I let you cross a boundary, willingly
Because I was crazy for you, see what I mean?
Wipe that angry glare off your face, love
I should have kept my guard up,
He fell asleep
I can't sleep
I'm turning into an insomniac
I'm becoming a maniac
My mind is always under attack
Pictures burning, searing through
The runes I'd made to block you
I've watched you leave, I turned away
Because there was nothing more I could say to keep you here
You would have left eventually, say what you will
It's true, you know
You were planning to stay on the other side
Of the fine line you were walking on
Balancing on
Like playing cards with a cheetah, you cheated
Not just on her, but you cheated me
You cheated me of the friendship
I'd spent my whole life honoring
I kept your picture in my wallet for years
Just to tell stories of our younger years
I've kept your stuffed animals, because you gave them to me
And I've always been too blind to see
This entire time, you weren't using me
You weren't even playing me
You're just sick and twisted
And I still miss it?
I still want you to answer me?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Better yet, what's wrong with you?
I'm trying so hard to do what you told me to
I've kept at it, hoping you'd respond to
My messages, my texts, my offers of friendship
I guess the river flows north for you
While mine still follows gravity, you rebel
Going against the constant flow
Of what we were, what we know
Or knew, so few of us remain
But we remember you
I remember you