The 100 Years' War

You wanna play dirty, let's see how this goes
Keep walking around like everyone knows
You're so innocent and I'm such a hypocrite
When I've tried my hardest to make myself perfect
I mean, let's face it, I've done more here
Than I've ever done in the past, and you can't even hear
Me speak my feelings, can't even think to ask
How I feel when you insult my body
My mind, my intelligence, I'm sorry
When did we stop trying out maturity?
Coulda sworn you'd told me you loved me
Yet I'm still getting blamed for every little thing?
It's not my fault you can't learn balancing
You can hate me all you want, hell, yell at me
Do it again, since that's all you've been doing
I'm not sure if you know what I'm saying,
But you're definition of love is fucked up
It's so messed up to love me one second and scream the next
And for what? Because of my friends?
I'm not defending you when they're speaking truth
You cheated, no trust here, and I do feel used
Not like you listen when I tell you this foolishness
But yeah, I don't like being at fault for every thing I do
I'm sorry I'm not a goddess incarnate, I only imitate perfection
And I suck at it, but hey, at least I can get your attention
True, it's the wrong one, but beggers can't really choose
It's okay, cuz if I get pregnant, I know it'll be from you
Because I haven't cheated, believe it or not
I'm the one who's been faithful, see what I've got?
It's called dignity, I learned my ways, I noticed it was wrong
Now you write on your wall I'm shit? Dude, so wrong
I've treated you like a god, some deity
When you've acted like I'm a skeleton, not worthy for your feet
But who tries to change a love when it's to be unconditional?
And who is so blind that they throw away traditional?
Honestly, you were perfect at the beginning of this shit
But now? You fuckin' terrify me, and I'm sick of it
When you get mad, hell yes I'll shut down
I'd rather not say anything when Hyde is around
Because you act like the father that left me, so angry
Full of rage, because of her, it can't be because of me
I mean, it could, but that's kind of impossible
Because throughout all this, whether you believe it, it's possible
That you haven't gotten over her, you still want her, and I'm nothing
Nothing more than a crutch to use when you need help to walk
Nothing more than a number to dial when you need someone to talk
Or a body to keep your bed warm on these depressing winter nights
You need someone to hold you close when everything falls apart tonight
But my heart, does it have any say in the matter?
You promised me that it would get better
Promise is broken, yet again
But I'm so tired of fighting a battle that's never gonna end

Kiss Me Goodbye

There's a fog over my eyes,
As your lips find their way to mine
And everything's perfect for the moment
The smoke extends to my body
Seems to happen alot, he
Is perfect for the moment,
But the moment crashes downward spiral
It's always better for a while
It's perfect in the moment..
But now the second, it's over,
I'm back to being a controller
For some dumb video game
You think it's okay to just
Waltz on my spirit like it's just
A plank on a bridge but it's not just
Something to be taken so lightly, so take away everything
I've worked so hard to be
Guess it's my stupidity that's brought me so low
Or my naivity that's showing you it's okay to be no one
You think I fucked him, okay, we'll see the truth in your reason
Steam escapes from my mouth as I struggle to breathe in
You take my breath away,
Just not in a good way
I did nothing wrong, but yet you yell for so long
You think I'm a shitty lady, say I'm a shady lady
But here I was throwing myself away
For you, I did everything
Defended you, everything
I forgave you, every time
Too scared to write the rhymes
Too terrified to write down the truth
'Cause I'm just so scared of you
But I know you can control me, use her against me
You see, this is killing me, to not write this down
Even though it can piss you off, I gotta write this down
I'm not sure I'm entirely in control
Of myself, you do that quite well,
Controlling my emotions, while unleashing yours
I just wish you could see that you hurt me with words
And I'm afraid of you half the time, when you mean to hurt
Because it kills my whole being, bits at a time,
And I don't know who I'll end up as, but kiss me goodbye.

I'm Not Alone

Every time I need someone to hold me
Every time I lose my sight
You always know where I am
And hold me through the night

When my world comes crashing down
When no one knows where I can be found
I just look at you, you see right through the storm
And I know that I'm not alone

I owe you my life every time
You save me from myself in the night
Like the ocean is held by the moon
How much I wanna be close to you

When the light's disappeared
And the night's taken over
When I can no longer hear
My thoughts drift to you, oh

When my world comes crashing down

When no one knows where I can be found

I just look at you, you see right through the storm

And I know that I'm not alone

You've been the dream of my nightmares
Your touch calms down the monsters
Inside of me, that I can't see
You're the nicotine I need
See you there, everywhere

When my world comes crashing down
When no one knows where I can be found
I just look at you, you see right through the storm
And I know that I'm not alone

I Won't Give Up

You shine brighter than anyone here
I see your light across my face, you're near
Even when you're far away, across time and space
As I wait for your return
I see you in my dreams at night
So real, so vivid, it's like
A thousand fireworks all shot at once
Like BOOM BOOM BOOM, hear that shot?
It's like a prick of my finger to make sure I'm awake
Or trying not to sprint down the aisle on our wedding day
You're like a million memories all dumped onto one man
Like a morning tidal wave crashing against the sand
I wonder who this angel is, all embodied into perfection
Who's in charge of this arrow of love, pointing to your direction?
It's very insistent, consistent, unrelenting
Not letting us go, but not condescending
Ascending into the heavens, you know we're flying high
When the ground's so far below us, each by each other's side
With our hands intertwined
And our babies on our minds
We've carried on so far along
You're on my brain, in my song
And I wouldn't dream of anything else
Because your light is my sun,
And at night I need one
I need your body to reassure me
That there's no way I'm dreaming
I need my blanekts being stolen
And my french fries crisp and golden
I love the diapers in the morning, angry baby for waking up
But I love it all, I won't fall, and I sure won't give up

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

So, I'm getting married! Just in case you're not my friend on Facebook or I haven't called you freaking out. Anyway, I'm super excited to marry Brian, and I feel like he'll be a great husband to me. I'm going to do my best to be a good wife and mother, too. Anyway! Here's just a little tidbit of the thoughts going through my head over the weekend.

-Oh my god, I gotta wear a dress. Damn...
-Dude, I want to wear Converse with my dress.
-Who's gonna be my bridesmaids?!
-Brian, the bridesmaids don't wear white. I WEAR WHITE.
-Evee's going to look so precious!
-Good gosh, are we gonna have a house by then?
-Think Evee will mind me marrying her daddy?
-What if I have a baby boy before then? He'd be so cute as a ring bearer!
-Stop, Brenda. Focus. School, then babies.
-This is such a pretty ring! GIMME.
-Hmmm, I want to incorporate Evee onto the cake..
-Agh! Engagement photos! Damnit!
-Brian, love, change your damn relationship status >.<
-Should I dye my hair red again? Or let the brown come back?
-I hate my hair brown..
-ERMAGERD! I like that word.
-Breathe, you idiot.
-I want Mr. Eby to be my preacher!!!
-Dude, I have three fathers. Who's walking this kid down the aisle?!
-Wow, Dad. Sure wish you'd answer your stupid phone.. Not like I'm engaged or anything..
-NO HEELS.
-We can be penguins!

I've been crazy..Just to clarify some of this. But yeah, I'M GETTING MARRIED!