Seven Truths

Some things I've always wanted to say to you, all of you
One:
Sometimes, when I'm alone at night
I put my hand on my side, right between my hip
And my ribs
And I gently run my fingertips back and forth
Back and forth, trying to imitate how you touch me
How you love me
I like stealing your clothes so I can pretend
You love me, your scent is familiar
So familiar, it scares me
Like, is this meant to be?
Two:
When I get angry, I think of you
I compare everything that makes me angry
To you, to us, toasting what I was
With you, we were one, remember us?
You made me wary, it's scary how much I distrust
What we were, what I want to be
Because when we fought, you fought dirty
Always pointing out things best forgotten,
Things I'd rather forget
And now I fight just like you did,
And I hate every bit of it.
Three:
You're beautiful, and you know it
Atrocity is so unlike you, and if you were a cow
I'd eat you, because I like food, honestly
Constantly, I envy you
Your charms work wonders, you know
Always turning people to your side, it's hypnosis
It's crazy, how easily you find people
And you never seem to mind if the people you find
Aren't right, you'll find more
I envy you for that. I wish I was that likeable.
Four:
I have nothing new to say to you, and you know that
Because I have no secrets with you, you've seen me bare
Seen me cry, hurt, smile
And I'm smiling as I write this, because you know me
You know everything about me, and that's funny
Because sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore
I don't know me, but you seem to
Better than I know anything, you know me
Five:
Sometimes I wonder what you would say
If I told you the ultimate truth, that I'm crazy about you
I thought you could see it, I know you have eyes
But I guess my eyes are better than yours
Because real eyes realize real lies
And I saw through your lies of love
But you haven't even noticed you're lying
I have to know the ultimate truth, you're not honest
Because that would mean you may love me
Alas, you don't.
Six:
I always wonder how life would be different if you'd have stayed
We could have been best friends, you know, we could have
Played in the sandbox together, you could have taken me to the park
And pushed me on the swings, showed me how to count to ten
Taught me my ABC's
Always
Better
Children
Defied
Everyone
Forgetting
God
Haven't
I
Jumped,
Killed,
Lied,
Maimed,
Named
Oppression,
Priced
Quality,
Ran
So
To
Understand,
Verify, I
Want to know
Xactly
Y I wasn't
Zany enough
Was I even worth being birthed to you?
Since I'm no boy, I'm just as close as you could get?
Seven:
Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?
Breaking hearts, breaking spirit, don't you know this isn't
Love, not even lust, this is evil at it's fullest
Like at the full moon, a werewolf
Transforming into a monster, nothing I want to be near
But I can't leave, I'm changing with you
Becoming the monster I always feared I'd become
Because you didn't cure me, though you could
You'd rather I suffer for my transgressions
Well, I am, and it hurts, but you'll be next to suffer
Because suffering is glory, that's what you say

So here are seven things I've wanted to say for a length
I know it was lengthy, I'm sorry it was long
Or short, depending on relation to what
Whatever, I'm done