The Fight

I'm running toward the river
And I'm trying to jump in
Because I've hit rock bottom, love
And I forgot how to swim
I just want it all to be over
Someone wake me up from this
But I guess it doesn't matter
I can't sleep anyway
I just want to make it better
I want to take away your pain
But every time I look at you I know
That I'm the reason you're in this game
The lies, the deceit, I wish I hadn't lived
If I'd done it right the first time...
Only memories, go to sleep love
Let me rub your back
Let me kiss your head and your cheeks
And your hands and your feet
Let me erase the last few months
Let's go back to being us
Just our mother/daughter team
I didn't need anyone else
But now you're gone, and I might lose you
And it terrifies me, please distract me
Vodka, where are you?
I need your kiss tonight
I need to be held
Just tell me it's alright
I need to feel beautiful again
Like I'm worth something again
Like my life means something again
Because without her, I mean less
Than her father, my rapist, he said it best
'You need to let her go
You don't deserve her, love'
But a part of me, deep down
Knows I went through hell and back
And I deserve my baby
But my body walks away
Right toward the bottle, the sex, the blade
Right toward everything the Devil ever made
My head tells me to go down the street, not across
My heart tells me I need to fight for her
My body just wants to be numb
I want to be numb
Love hurts, every time.