Scream

It’s a sad day in hell when I fear you

You, who were supposed to

Help me, protect me, love me

You promised forever, and though we fight

I was never supposed to have nightmares

When you stay over

I could’ve told you

You’re a monster

A monster we gave life to

A demon we gave a right to

Invade me in such a way

I never meant for this to happen

Then again, we never do

I shouldn’t be so scared to fight

Especially with you

I cringe when you glare at me

Solely out of fear

Because once you get the gleam in the eye

I know the monster’s here

And I scream

I hope someone hears me

I hope you break my neck

I hope you’re able to stop yourself

Because I know what’s next

And I scream

My body’s being invaded

And you’re getting off to it

And it scares the shit out of me

Who are you?

You tell me I have one last chance

To change my mind, to agree

To whatever your side is during this argument

At the slightest hesitation, the monster ignites

The fire, and holy shit, does it burn bright.

And I scream

The feeling of you entering

Is making me tear up now

I remember the pain

The horror, the begging

The pleading, and most of all,

The screaming

You tell me, “Stop crying. Now”

And I try

But every thrust puts me further into oblivion

And I look for a weapon

I reach for a bottle

You catch on too quickly, grab it from my hand

And I just made this worse

I tell you I’ll do whatever you want

You tell me you’re gonna get it anyway

I cry and say, “Please, baby. This isn’t love.”

You tell me I made you this way.

I try to fight back but you’re stronger than me

I picture my baby, and think of my mother

And it makes me cry

And I scream

I scream for the injustice being done to my body

I scream for the man I know to defeat the monster

Or if he’s already dead, I mourn him

I scream for the rage I’d feel for my daughter

If she ever had a man like you

I scream for the shame you make me feel

I scream for the pain I feel as you enjoy this

I scream for my mother, because she’s too weak

To be able to handle what’s going on

So I scream

And I wish you’d just leave

I wish I could get help

But I’m still so damn scared

And it’s ruining my life

I just want to be happy

I think I've deserved it

And I can’t be happy with a monster

I’m tired of screaming

I’m living in a constant fear

I dread you walking into the door

I shut up when you disagree with me

I do what you say, and I play it safe

Because I don’t have the energy to scream

I’ve found someone who could make me happy

And I’m terrified to tell you

I think we might have a future now

I hope

But if not, that’s okay

Because he’s not you

He’s not a monster

And I don’t have to scream.